Who cast a spell on us? (Part 3)

If it wasn’t an evil spell or magic charm; why do we effusively sing the praises of the masterminds of our decades of pauperdom and extreme hardship when seduced with few cups of rice, Kerosene and wrappers emblazoned with their effigies?

As if he wanted to enjoy more schadenfreude at our expense, Senator Orji (whose government battered us) dangled just 600 bags of rice in front of us as inducement for our votes to return to the senate for another four-years.

You need to see how people desecrated their family dignities and shamelessly pounced on ordinary rice like washed-up scroungers who could not afford it. Instantaneously we forgot the eight-years misery heaped on us by his insidious government because of derisory less than quarter Cigarette cup of rice.

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Did I say less than a quarter Cigarette cup of rice? Yes, you heard me. A bag of rice contains 64 dericas. Multiply it by 600 bags it gives you 38, 400 dericas. When divided by 1005, 351 residents, each person got a derisory 0.03 per cent (less than one quarter Cigarette cup).

You see, because of rice that cannot feed a chicken, we foolishly accepted another four-years of bondage. Surrendered our futures, our children’s and generation unborn and like zombies, our E-idiots invaded the social media to shout, “E go go again,” while our women trooped to the street to sing “Ochendo na idi anyi nma, ngwo ngwo” not knowing that we’d been hornswoggled. Tufiakwa! Who did this to us?

I am sure that our Akwa-Ibom, Rivers and Imo States brothers who heard the gunshots and wild jubilation must have marvelled at our foolishness.

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As if that was not enough foolhardiness, we also sacrificed excellent governance, infrastructural development and freedom for a derisory 33,000 litres of Kerosene in a 21st century Nigeria where cooking gas is de rigueur.

Chai! Oburu godi ogwu (Juju) we were expected to say “Oma nle” (It will not work) but we thoughtlessly nicknamed Ikpeazu “Kurutu”. Can you imagine! “Kurutu” for a man whose government squandered our N264 billion four-years FAAC Allocation without a single project to show for it. 

If you were parents reading this heart-breaking narrative, pause a while and deeply think how sad you’ll be when your 28-year-old child still crawls around on diapers and suck feeding bottle while his/her contemporaries have grown to adulthood. You can imagine the heartbreak.

That was exactly, how Abia founding fathers and ancestors must have felt in their graves the day our youths sold their votes (futures) for N500 to our slave masters of 20-years. As if under an evil spell, some of us ate and drank ourselves to stupor for foolishly aiding INEC extends our slavery to 24-years.

Instead of weeping, we irrationally shot canon indiscriminately in celebration of our misery. I am sure that our Akwa-Ibom, Rivers and Imo States brothers who heard the gunshots and wild jubilation must have marvelled at our foolishness. Chai! Umunnem ndi Abia, who bewitched us?

Hoodwinked with a devilish phrase, “KOTA SIGN”, we forgot our starvation and gnashing of the teeth and in a jiffy thoughtlessly sacrificed our 18/25 months’ salary and pension arrears to vote for our oppressors for derisory N10m.

If shared among our approximately 20,000 civil servants, each did not get up to N50.00. Now look at us, we resemble Bonga fish in just two months of their four-years tenures. Odikwa Egwu ooh! Even those we deride as “Aboki” cannot display this vexed attitude of nihilism?

Our certificates can only guarantee us employment as E-idiots with N30,000 monthly stipends as salaries. In the name of media aides without portfolios, they have recruited urchins, hemp smokers and club girls to address those with different opinions pejoratively on social media.

As if fed with goat breast milk, this same lazy E-idiots whose futures have been used to play Kalukalu (gambling) invaded the social media with the new-fangled slogan, “IKUKU IS COMING.”

Can you imagine! A de facto governor in his father’s government that mismanaged Abia’s approximately N500 billion FAAC Allocation in eight-years.

The irony of the whole “Ikuku is coming” campaign was that the so-called youth (clamouring for Ikuku) who see themselves as toddlers too small for public offices were haling the emergence of a 32-year-old man as Oyo State House of Assembly Speaker. And you want me to believe that something is not wrong with us.

Mtcheeew! I would have gone on and on but unfortunately, tears would not allow me to identify the letters on my laptop keyboard anymore. To avoid bad grammar like most of the E-idiots, permit me to stop here.

To be continued.

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