Beware! I’m a trained assassin, By Don Norman Obinna

Of late, a handful of squealers, prying yentas and grumpy chatterboxes have made me their Aunt Sally with a farrago of anecdotes and shaggy-dog stories.

It got to a crescendo when one Neanderthal among them indiscreetly published libellous canard against me without considering its legal implications. Even one rookie merry-andrew wants to author a book on me also amid the galimatias.

Ruefully, my delinquency was the execution of my professional job with conviction through credible techniques I considered feasible.

Ideally, I would have pooh-poohed the bunkum and ignored the talebearers because there can never be a conflagration without the coming together of two combustible elements. They are no match. Their venom can barely scratch me because I am a trained pen assassin who takes no prisoner. However, for posterity sake, let me, for the umpteenth time, say that I am not on the payroll of any politician. It includes all the Abia senators, reps, house members, key opposition figures, commissioners, ministers, party candidates and even the governor.

I do not accept freebie or gratuity for an interview and its publication. The Alex Ikwechegh news and feature stories published on The Realm News were done professionally and gratuitously. I do not belong to any political party either. The press meeting that culminated in the stories were attended by other journalists and names like Paddy Anyatonwu, Uche Aguoru, Iroegbu Emenike, Ugochukwu Nwankwo and Sampson Eze Chinedu.They are in a better position to confirm how much was paid.

I only charge a professional fee when hired for PR, media consultation, book editing and journalism tutorials. Except for one Abia prominent politician who recently engaged me in one of the services I listed, all my clients are Yorubas and resident in Lagos, Oyo and Abuja.

Nobody or group hired me to criticise the Abia State Government or any opposition element. All my actions were based on conviction and patriotism. Therefore, it is cheeky and oafish for anyone to denunciate me.

Twice I was incarcerated. I have sacrificed assets and cosiness in my social crusading for utopian Abia. Even my then 16-year-old son spent two nights in the police cell in place of me.

I have organised several protests that featured none of the social media warriors. In all these travails, the opposition parties in Abia State abandoned me. Instead of whining, I opted for rhathymia and displayed a great deal of longanimity.

I am yet to fathom how I was part of the avalanche of problems that bedevilled Abia State. I have never held a public office neither serve under any government. I have never contested an election nor indicated interest to do so. I deserve some good wishes, not these contumelious reactions.

On this premise, I forbid characters coming to my page to disrespect or address me pejoratively. We must not agree on every topic. We can use a superior argument devoid of vulgarities to arrive at a consensus. An infringement or attack on my person will be the end of our social media friendship.

As for the young man who expressed a desire to author a book on my “politicking quests”, it is a noble undertaking. I will offer free editing to avoid gapping syntactic anomalies and grammatical errors I found on your short Facebook bio and write up where you indicated your interest to author a tome.

Boy, your assertion is delusional, I did not delist you because of your cul-de-sac. I did because you abused the privilege to share social media space with me. You are probably a year older than my first child who did her youth service in the same period as you.

Finally, I do not write for everybody. Every writer has a target audience depending on the intricacies of the subject matter. If you found my articles incomprehensible, you’re not part of the audience. I love logophiles and folks with a desire to learn. We are on social media, therefore, let’s behave with a bit of savoir-faire.